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What I Want

I want. I need. I want. I need. I want. I need.

As we were driving up Highway 61 today I found myself feeling more and more sullen. Why? Because I will never be able to live on Lake Superior. I will never make enough money to have a house on the shore of the place that I find so amazingly powerful.

As we were driving by I could see lights on in homes and wondered, “what the hell do you do that you can afford this?” And then I would see houses that were obviously just used in summer months and thought, “what the hell do you do that you can afford not to be here during the winter months?”

We are staying at Bluefin Bay on Lake Superior and our room is just steps from the water. Right now I am sitting in the second floor bedroom which has one whole wall of windows. Canyon is slumbering in the heavenly bed and I can hear his deep, rhythmic breathing. I can hear the waves pushing gently into the shore. The moon is directly in front of me, illuminating huge sections of the water into shimmery silver. It is brilliant.

I know I should be thankful that I can even afford four nights here in this room with its breathtaking views, fireplace and high speed internet. I know. I know. I know.

I still want. I still want. I still want.

I want this to be my life. I want to experience the every day of this. I want to mark on my calendar that earliest we swam in the lake and the latest we swam in the lake. I want to be here for storms that whip the lake into monstrous waves that splatter my windows. I want to be here for days that are so calm that the water lays flat like dark blue silk. I want to be here when the water is dull and grey like an afterthought. I want to be here when the run off turns the lake brown with clay. I want to be snowed in for days at a time. I want to be here for the Northern Lights and Perseids meteor showers. I want to be here for bonfires. I want to be here for the kinds of lake days I don’t even know about yet.

I want to raise my children here. I want to grow old here.

Sometimes I have dreams that someone has given me a house on Lake Superior, as a gift, or an inheritance. Or my house is transported to Lake Superior. Those are happy dreams. Then I wake up.

Oh I know I could settle for some house with a view of Lake Superior in the distance. I have done that and while it was wonderful, it is not what I dream big want.

Whenever we play the “what would you do with a million dollars?” game I always know what I would do. I sometimes buy lottery tickets, knowing exactly what I would do when we win.

I think about writing a book, publishing it, selling the movie rights and then I know what I would do. Come on Oprah, pick my book! Pick my book!

If I was Bill Gates rich I would buy Wisconsin Point. Oh I would keep it open to the public but I would train wolves to eat the people who don’t clean up their trash after bonfires.

So I put this out to the universe.

This is my intention.

I want to live by Lake Superior.

I want.

I want.

I want.

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Iridescent Bliss

After driving around frozen lakes and checking out the Gordon Winter Carnival we decided that we would take another trip out to Wisconsin Point for sunset.

We arrived at the perfect time for iridescent bliss.

It pays to remember the tripod! We don’t always get photos of all of us…

There really is a baby under all that bundling.

I love my Northern Baby!

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My Tame Sense of Adventure

We had been talking about it all week. Debates on safety. Debates on whether or not our car insurance would cover it if things went bad? How would we get Canyon out of that damn car seat? What about Lilo? Should we drive with the windows down? Seat belts off?

Finally the lure of driving on the lake became too much. I practiced escape routes in my mind. We were ready. It was time to hit the ice!

The thrill of driving on frozen lakes makes me completely giddy. It’s like this rush of danger. Adventure.

Then we thought to turn on the GPS and watch the Hertz Never Lost freak out.

I wanted to hear that ladies voice start screaming, “Get out of the water! You’re in a lake! Proceed to land!”

Once we got started we didn’t want to stop and tried out other lakes…

Later in the day it was the end of the ice fishing contest and we saw just how strong that ice was…

When the lake is a parking lot for 4X4’s and Suburbans you realize that you weren’t as brave as you thought!

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full moon sunset freezing cold happy dance

Full of deep fried cheese curds from the Minong A&W (half price apps 2pm-close!) we headed back to Lake Minnesuing via the back roads. It was one of those moments of pure, natural happiness. We had one of those days where we had no plans, no big trips into town (unless you count Lake Nebagamon and Minong), no fancy meals (unless you count beef jerky and spring water) and yet it was the perfect day. Topped by a sunset…

We refilled the bottles we drank on the road and I had a full moon sunset freezing cold happy dance in the road.

And then the ultimate topper, the Full Wolf Moon!

We came home giddy, well hydrated and full of love.

Blessed be.

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Where We Get Our Water

We drink a serious amount of water. At home it’s filtered from the fridge but at my Dad’s house it is a bit more work.

We drive about 8 miles to this fresh spring that just constantly runs. Clear, cold and delicious!

Lilo enjoyed playing in the plowed area…

Canyon enjoyed the warm car…

Did I mention we rented a tank for this trip? A giant red tank. I love it. It is a seriously comfortable ride.

We were enjoying the scenery and didn’t feel like heading home after our water pilgrimage so we decided that a road trip to Minong was in order. Why Minong? Henson’s Country Foods. The worlds best Maple Fried Cinnamon Buns and beef jerky from the Jack Links outlet. Add some cheese curds and these ridiculous garlic stuffed olives that I can’t find in Chicago. Well worth a drive! Seriously, they have the best bakery. Seriously.

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Coyote By Day

I was hanging in the kitchen this morning, feeding Canyon and taking pictures of birds.

First I saw a black squirrel race up the tree, then a couple of grey squirrels followed it. I thought that was weird since the black squirrels and grey squirrels usually only play with their own kind, such racists. Then I looked down and saw Mr. Coyote!

Now he had to be damn hungry to be out during the day. So much for Lilo being ok during daylight hours!

On Tuesday night we all watched Maneaters on Animal Planet about how vicious coyotes can be. Dad and Mary said they hadn’t seen one here in a long time. Then here this guy is!

He walked right through the yard, down to the hill and trotted off down the road. That coyote has swagger.

Tonight is the Wold Moon and today was the Coyote sun! Lame joke, I know.

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Slip Slidin Away at Wisconsin Point

So after Amnicon we headed in to Wisconsin Point. This time we decided to try out the cool sled contraption that we bought this summer at a rummage sale. The little monkey was strapped in before he knew what was happening.

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Competitive Cold Weather Baby Dressing & Amnicon Falls State Park

I have a new competition for the winter olympics. Competitive Cold Weather Baby Dressing. Long underwear, pants, snow pants. Thermal top, shirt and coat. I woke up a sweat just trying to get his damn winter boots on. Hat gloves. Get everyone outside to the car before baby overheats. Get the baby in the car seat. Whoever straps the baby in first gets the gold.

So after all that we head out to Amnicon Falls State Park. Some of you may know that as the place we got married! We head down to the covered bridge and try to unload Canyon from the car seat into this cool back pack carrier that Michelle gave us. Too bad we couldn’t figure out how to get him in it without all of us having a complete melt down. We’re trying to get him strapped in, get Lilo’s boots on and freezing our fingers off in the process. Fortunately the sub zero temps kept the park to ourselves so no one heard Canyon’s wails or our swearing. Finally we gave up and John decided to stay in the car and feed Canyon and Lilo and I would hike around. Fine. Get about a block in and Lilo decided she doesn’t want to be separated from John so I turn back and bring her to the car. Now I am on my own. John will pick me up on the far end of the trail.


All the pines seemed to be holding snowballs like they were arming up for a mythical snow ball battle. I imagined them becoming animated like the trees in Wizard of Oz, hurling the frosty missiles at each other, or maybe at people who litter. I couldn’t really decide who they were going to throw them at, I was just hoping it wouldn’t be me.

It was peaceful being alone in the woods.

Here’s where we got married!

And when I came around the curve to Grandma Tree I gasped at how beautiful she was. The sun was starting to set and she was lit perfectly, like she had her own spotlight.


We chatted for awhile, my arms around her, face pressed into her bark. It was a good visit.

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