Once again John and I made our pilgrimadge out to Zion, IL for the Perseids meteor shower. Last year we found the perfect location, but only after driving around in pre-dawn darkness for a few hours. This year we were blessed with an earlier peak time and better travel plan to our destination- a marina on the shores of Lake Michigan, near the Wisconsin border.
So around 9pm we loaded Canyon and Lilo into the Kia, plugged in the Perseids Meteor Shower mix that I made for last year and hit the road.

Speak To Me/Breathe by Pink Floyd
Navigating By The Stars At Night by Mike Doughty
The Night Starts Here by Stars
When the Stars Shine by Instruments
The Stars Are Projectors by Modest Mouse
Where I End And You Begin (The Sky Is Falling In) by Radiohead
In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins by Ryan Starr
Plainsongby The Cure Disintegration
Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
Lost! (Acoustic Version) by Coldplay
Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap Speak For Yourself
The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove by Dead Can Dance
Chemtrails by Beck
No One Said It Would Be Easy by Cloud Cult
Don’t Fade Away 6:12 Dead Can Dance
Hljomalind by Sigur Ros
Deep In The Night by Abigail Washburn
I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab For Cutie

We get to our marina and pull up into the darkness. We roll down all of the windows and crank up the stereo. At my first meteor I squealed with delight and did this goofy little Rumplestiltskin dance in celebration. I helped the moonrise with my dancing and we called out whenever we saw a meteor shoot across the sky.

Driving to the meteor shower makes me happy. I love that we are taking time out of our busy lives to appreciate something wild and scientific all at the same time. I feel connected to something outside of myself. And it reminds me of being in college where Jeff and his buddy picked me up for the Perseids and we drove out to Bayfield to escape the city lights. We pulled over at a wayside by Lake Superior and Jeff opened his trunk to reveal a full bar, all set up. We made cocktails and laid on picnic tables and enjoyed the show. Now that Jeff and I reconnected through Facebook we e-mail each other every year to smile over that memory.
Now next year I want to make it more of a party with more people to celebrate with. August of next year? Anyone?

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Last night I spend nearly an hour chatting online with an old friend, a friend that I hadn’t truly connected with for many, many years. I was sitting out on the deck off our second floor bedroom-watching the full moon cross the sky, listening to Pink Floyd and reminiscing over good times past. I often wonder if and how people remember me and in this case I ended our chat around 2am, feeling warm and fuzzy, full of happy memories.
Then this morning I picked “Where the Sidewalk Ends” by Shel Silverstein up off the bookshelf and settled in on the glider with Canyon-reading the poems outloud. Some made me laugh, others made me cry…

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

That one hit me hard. I went back to my conversation from the night before. My friend had expressed interest in making some changes in his life and I immediately jumped in with ideas and suggestions. I even went to Craigslist and compared rents between Chicago and his home city. Today I sent him a google search of schools in Chicago that offered the course work he said he was interested in. This is not new for me. I have an artist friend that I am always thinking of advice for, wanting him to come to Chicago so he can start to branch out with his work. I have another friend who I call out of the blue and make pronouncements about what I think he should do with his life (audition for Hell’s Kitchen). But what about me? What am I doing to advance my life, my dreams?

I am at a perfect cross roads right now. When I was laid off in December it was devestating, but I really did believe that there was a higher purpose. And when my pregnancy went all wonky and Canyon arrived so early I thought that was the reason the universe shook up my complacent little life. Now that I am settling in to motherhood I am seeing more and more that this is an opportunity for me to find my real passion. I did love that job, I loved the money, the perks, the hours, etc-but I also hid inside it. I talked for years about leaving when the show closed because I knew damn well I would never have the balls to walk away from all of the things I loved about the job-never mind all the times it drove me insane, drove me to tears.
So here I am. John and I were smart and saved our money so with his salary and my unemployment checks we are financially secure without touching our savings. For now. So this is my opportunity to really look at what I want to be when I grow up.
Now I just need to decide what that is before the money runs out and I have to step into another job that pays the bills but leaves me bankrupt.
So what list of suggestions would I send myself? Classes at the Chicago Photography Center. Writing workshops at Story Studio. Time spent in nature and mediation rather than watching on demand Netflix movies through the X-Box 360. Hold a giant rummage sale and rid yourself of all the clutter that stresses you out day and night. Keep up your contacts with all those people you worked with for over 11 years-don’t just reach out when you need something. Use this time wisely, you will not have this opportunity again.

“All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin’ In The Sun,
Talkin’ ‘Bout The Things
They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done…
But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All Ran Away And Hid
From One Little Did.”
Shel Silverstein

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So my friend Jimmy has been posting these crazy lip synching videos and they are totally keeping me entertained.

There’s also three and four….

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this was filmed at the show Nathaniel and I went to last year. I can’t make us out in the crowd but I can definitely hear us singing. Just kidding. But we were totally singing. It was fun because they made us do it twice. Coldplay can be so demanding some times.

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We left the faire at sunset and I somehow convinced John to take the long way home through backroads and IL State Beach.Now I know where clouds come from…

It was an amazing sunset that I felt it was totally worth the extra time. John, not so much. But after ten years I have learned to accept that he doesn’t care about such things and he’s learned to accept that I do!

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As part of our ten year anniversary John, Canyon and I went out to the Bristol Renaissance Faire. As I write this I realized two things. This is the fourth anniversary weekend that we have spent at the faire and the I have been going to Renaissance Faire’s for half of my life and I still can’t spell Renaissance without the help of spell check.


We have our faire routine down to a science. We leave Chicago in the late afternoon so we arrive late enough in the day that we don’t have to pay to park, get a spot right in front and a lot of the tourists have already left for the day. We eat delicious foods, buy pretty jewelry for me and check out the costumes. Last stop is the drum jam and then the park is closing so everyone in costume heads to the front. The rainbow at the end was an added bonus…

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