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Canyon’s 5 Weeks Old Video

Again, not bothering with a soundtrack because Youtube will delete it.


5 Weeks Old and Time For Clothes!

Based on my propensity for dressing up my cats and dog you would probably have bet that I would have been all over dressing up Canyon. Nope. For the first 4 weeks of his life he was either just in a diaper for the photo therapy lights or a little hospital t-shirt and diaper for the isolette. Now that he is in the bassinet the need to wear clothes comes into the picture but John and I were completely fine with him wearing the little white hospital t-shirt and knit hat. It seemed silly to bring in clothes only to have to take them home each night to be washed when I am barely keeping up with our laundry! Plus, we don’t have that many tiny outfits and it it seemed wasteful to go out and buy clothes that he would only fit into for a few weeks.
Then the pressure started from the nurses. You can only hear, “You know you could bring him clothes now” so many times. We realized that dressing up the babies is fun for the nurses and we had received some cute, tiny clothes as gifts so we gave in. And I am glad we did!

I bought this one on clearance for only $5.10. It’s kind of adorable!

This is part of a set from Sue’s mom…

My Mom got him this…

Yes, he went through 4 or 5 outfits all in one day! Spit up baby! Even the smallest outfits are too big so he will be able to wear them for awhile yet. Now I have to control my urge to go and buy more!


Catch Up!

Seems like I have been a bit of a slacker in the old blog updating department.

Sunday was John’s birthday and we took a break from our lives and celebrated with mini burgers and the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday’s. Yeah, we classy. So classy that we snuck out a take out container of bacon and ham from the salad bar for Lilo. While we were at the mall I started to feel a bit dizzy and needed to go home. I felt sick even before I saw the prom dresses on display at Deb.
I would have taken more photos but the Deb employee was right there and I didn’t want to be rude, but damn those are some ugly dresses.
We came home and gave Lilo her pig flesh feast.
She was pretty thrilled. I laid down for a few hours before heading to the hospital. I felt a bit groggy but assumed I was just worn out from my marathon stints with Canyon. Then Monday hit and I felt worse. I tried to pretend that it was just allergies-runny nose, itchy eyes-seemed a reasonable diagnosis. One of the nurses even mentioned that she was having allergy problems too. Lies and denial. By Tuesday I had a full blown head cold and had to stay home from my little Manlet. I think it was harder on me than him. When I went back to the hospital on Wednesday I was interrogated by the nurse as to my health-and I passed. Then I hear her hacking up a lung all day! In fact, I counted 4 nurses who were coughing or blowing their noses this week. No wonder I got sick! Every day I am afraid that I am going to walk in and find out that Canyon has caught something. But he’s not! He’s doing great!
I have given up trying to put a nice soundtrack to my videos since Youtube edits them out. So here’s the latest video from today. I put Canyon back in his bassinet and turned my back for a minute-just long enough for him to completely rip out his feeding tube! I felt bad when they had to put it back in but it was nice to see his naked face!

The reason it’s so dark in the videos and most of our photos is that Canyon’s little preemie eyes hate the lights and the flash. Hopefully his eyes will get stronger soon!

There is no homecoming date in sight. I want to say two-three weeks, but we’ve been saying two-three weeks for two-three weeks now! I just try to take it day by day, knowing that at some point he will get to be home with us. It’s hard, but it will all be worth it in the end. He’s 4lbs, 4oz and we are working toward removing the feeding tube officially. He still has some desats and we think reflux is a problem, but hopefully that will go away as he gets bigger. I still stare at him and wonder over the fact that he should still be in my belly until May 4th! It just seems crazy to me. Today I decided that I was luckier than full term moms because I get to see his eyelashes come in! That is just one of the ways I try to comfort myself. What was I saying earlier about denial?


Happy One Month Canyon!

Today was full of good news for the family. Canyon is just shy of 4lbs, has been moved out of his isolette into a bassinet AND he is clear of the MRSA so no more quarantine! Oh the joy of progress! And on a small, superficial note, his eyelashes are also coming in which I find very exciting.
Here’s a little video I made last night. Again, nothing fancy but it does the job!

I like this photo because he looks a little less scrawny…
And here he is just so freakin adorable…

I was a little afraid that once he was clear of the quarantine they would move us back down to the real NICU which is like moving from the penthouse to a crappy garden apartment. They have said we can stay upstairs which is so much nicer. We have a lot of freedom to care for Canyon in a much more relaxing place. Lately we sit in our comfy chair and listen to music or watch movies on my laptop. I get a free dinner at night and can bring in my own food. I am very good at eating with one hand without getting crumbs on the baby!

So one month down. If we continue at this rate of growth we might be out of there in two or three weeks. It’s all up to the little Manlet at this point. That’s my new name for him, I call him my little Manlet.

And here’s Lilo showing how much she likes the Spring!



New Hair and Our Baby Sucks!


It was a great day at the hospital. I went in at 9am(!) to be there for Canyon’s first appointment with the Speech Therapist. Yes, tiny babies need a Speech Therapist! They test the infant to see if they can suck, swallow and breathe. (And yes, while I am now a “grown up mom” I still have to stifle a giggle any time we have in depth conversations about sucking and swallowing. I haven’t changed that much!) One of the doctors had agreed last week that Canyon seemed to have a strong rooting and sucking reflex so he allowed that he could have the bottle once a day. This seemed to upset some nurses because Canyon was technically two weeks shy of being old enough to do this. Finally they ordered the test so we could get another set of approvals. He passed with flying colors! The kid knows that he can’t go home until he can eat on his own and he is doing his best to get the hell out of there! So now he can have the bottle once per nurses shift and they will evaluate from there. One step closer!

I left the hospital for awhile to finally get my hair cut and colored. John and I had been overdo for months and we realized we needed to do it before Canyon comes home. I usually mess around with the color but I have basically had the same long hair since high school. A few days ago I saw a picture of Lisa Kudrow in More Magazine and tore it out. I asked John and Yvette if I could pull it off. We agreed I could and we hacked off alot of my hair. Seeing this huge chunk of my hair on the floor started to freak me out a little-it was almost America’s Next Top Model Makeover worthy. And yes, I think this is super short. It’s the shortest my hair has been since I was like 8. John also gave in and had alot cut off. His hair was down to the middle of his back!


Canyon also had a good day in the snuggly awake department. He was awake through part of the morning with me and then last night he was awake for over an hour! We were waiting for John to arrive and he was running late so I thought he would miss it, but Canyon held on for his Papa!


We Interrupt The Usual Canyon Post To Talk About Raccoons

So yesterday we had an appointment with some contractors to come out and destroy the chimney. The best place for them to get up on the roof is from our second floor deck off of the master bedroom. Now we hadn’t set foot out there all winter so I got up early to go out and make sure everything was cool for them. Lilo of course wants to come too and the minute she sets foot on the boards she starts this insane sniffing and suddenly erupts into her frantic, “I found something and it’s ALIVE!” barks. I know from experience to take this seriously so I go check it out and see this…


RACCOON! I get all excited, drag Lilo into the house and call for John and the camera.


Now I generally stay clear of city raccoons (wait, that’s a lie) because they are much meaner than my Dad’s raccoons but I felt bad for this guy. He was trapped up there because it was daylight and we had plumbers working on the sewer line in the back yard so he couldn’t go down the tree and find a better hiding spot. I decided to try to comfort him and let him know that we meant no harm so I got my left over english muffin and dropped it down for him. He sniffed it, but then moved off to the corner. I would occasionally go check on him and tried to send him my warmest hippy, tree hugger intentions by smiling warmly at him. OK, that probably just freaked him out more, but still.

Want to know how he repaid me? He ate my muffin and left me this…

That’s right. I go out this morning to see if he was crazy enough to come back and just miss stepping on his poop present that he left right in front of the door! That little furry bastard. I should have poked him with a stick when I had the chance. Or listened to Cheryl, “hahaha…he is trying to lure you into a false sense of security with his sad little black mask….and then BAM- he bites your hand off!. I’m just scarred by the time the biggest raccoon in the history of the world tried to steal my puppy (three times) and I had to fight him off with a hammer and can of raid. Maybe you have the friendly Illinois coons and I saw the ficious WI pack :o)”

But in good news land the chimney guys totally forgot our appointment so they are coming on Saturday and we get a discount!


Happy St. Patrick’s Day Lilo

Lilo and I took advantage of the warm weather to have some quality time alone together. For those of you new to this blog, my dog and I are soul mates and and BC (Before Canyon) we were rarely apart and spent a large part of our time hiking around the parks and lake front. But with my extended hospital stay and Canyon’s incarceration in the NICU, Lilo and I have not had any outdoor alone time since Feb 6th! Sure, John and I took her out together a few times once I was released, but nothing like in the BC days.

And since quality time day fell on St. Patrick’s Day there were costumes.




It was a good time, but as much I tried to pretend that things were normal, they weren’t. I tried to put on a happy face, roll down the windows and crank a little “Blinded By The Light” and “Wolf Like Me” to show how much fun I was having but when I was at the stop sign for the bike path two happy moms went by with strollers and their fat little full-term babies and I completely lost my shit and no amount of Manfred Mann or TV On The Radio was going to help me get it back together. I know our time will come and eventually Canyon will get out, but man, it’s seems like forever away!

Don’t want to end such a cute post on a sad note so how about a picture of my little leprechaun?

You know your baby is tiny when the cat sized hat is way, way too big for him!


Canyon At Almost 3 Weeks Old

A little Lanterna to soundtrack Canyon’s awake time from yesterday. Another 8 hours in the old hospital. Another nurse fight (these ladies do not get along!) Canyon is just shy of 3 weeks old in this video. He is still doing well, but having issues with Desaturation (low blood oxygen). It’s very mild, since his oxygen plummets but then usually races right back up. What makes it stressful is the damn alarm bells that are set for instant. You try not to worry but it is impossible not to with dinging bells going off for long periods of time.
He had his first eye exam but his cells are not fully developed so we need to retest on April 3. Preemies can have lots of eye/vision problems. He’s gaining weight and hopefully that will continue.
No idea when he might come home. We think the one doctor was a little full of it when he said 2 weeks. That would have been next Wednesday and we just don’t see that happening. They have us scheduled for CPR on the 28th and the flyer says it’s part of preparation to go home, so maybe the end of March is still realistic. I sure hope so. It’s so amazing spending long days with him but the hospital is not such a great environment to do it in. Most of the staff is great, it’s just that you never know who you are going to get. Some nurses are more power trippy than others, some are lazy, some are rough with Canyon, some are amazing, some are clingy….you just hope for the best and try to get through their shift. The worst right now is when you have one shift with a nurse who gives you lots space and lets you just be with your baby and then the shift changes and you get someone who wants to control everything and sits on top of you the whole shift. Sigh. I hope we get good ones today!